Personal Development Author

How to Listen is my latest book and aims to help you to build better relationships with effective communication. You can buy the book at Amazon.

On a recent episode of The Apprentice, the head of retail banking at Barclays spoke to the candidates about the importance of listening skills. (Good luck with that particular group). The ability to listen is frequently listed as one of the most desirable ‘soft skills’. It is an essential element of communication. Great leaders are said to be great listeners.

The words ‘expert’ and ‘skills’ suggest that listening is something that can be learnt. They indicate that not everyone is good at this but that that there are practices and strategies which we can work at in order to become ‘expert’.
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Everyone hopes exams will go well and their children will get the results they need but if they don’t, do you have a Plan B ready?

Having a back-up in place, with second and third-choice schools, ‘insurance’ university offers, alternative courses, etc can ease exam stress for parents and children. Putting all your hopes on one outcome places everyone under pressure and the strain it creates could be counter-productive.
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One of the things that makes the exam period stressful is the frustration, bafflement and irritation of seeing someone studying and revising in ways that just don’t make sense to you.

Instead of taking the “Why aren’t you doing this or that” line, try having a conversation about what your young person finds helpful about their particular choices.
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Here are the top 10 responses that students gave when asked to tell their parents what to do and what not to do through the revision period.

1: Do provide constant supplies of food, and access to baths and long showers
2: Do help me if I ask for it
3: Do let me do it my way
4: Let me have a social life
5: Don’t try to learn with me
6: Don’t keep asking if I need help
7: Don’t moan or nag
8: Don’t compare me to others
9: Don’t keep making sure I’m revising, or spy on me
10: Don’t tell me not to worry

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Changing the way you think will help your child

Tense, anxious, bad-tempered and irrational describe not just the kids taking exams, but their parents as well. The exam period puts strain on everyone: students, parents, families and friends. On the whole, their pets don’t suffer, and that gives us a clue. Pets, as we know, (some of them, at any rate) love you unconditionally, or at least their lasting affection is dependent on the simplest of conditions, mainly food-based. You can probably see where this is going.

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Making this change is more significant than just altering the way that you work or the way that you deal with and respond to demands for your attention. It is more than a mechanical switch. Deciding to adopt a different attitude to ‘tasks’ can transform your life in many ways. Not only will you gain time, you will also benefit from improved health, less stress, better relationships. Throw in more enjoyment and satisfaction and well, why wouldn’t you go for it?
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Look at me! Aren’t I clever! I am so on the ball, so quick and responsive, so on my mental toes that I can do loads of things at the same time, and am not in the least fazed when I’m in the middle of a task and have to switch to doing something else. It’s just multitasking. It’s what you have to do if you want to keep up in today’s fast-paced society.
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