Once upon a time, way back in the day when there were only two television channels available and they were both in black and white, the only people interested in exam results were those directly involved. The results arrived at your house by post, in an envelope addressed to you, the exam candidate, and could be opened when and where and how you chose.
You could absorb the grades in the privacy of your bedroom, or in the company of your parents or a friend or a sympathetic dog, or sitting on your backpack ready to hit the Kathmandu trail if it had all gone Pete Tong, as we didn’t say in those days.
There are many ways in which we give away our personal power to others, and become victims rather than active agents in our own lives. One of the things we do is to care too much about what other people think. We can control this tendency by applying the three little words:
The expression ‘it is what it is’ has been in use for a good few years, but seems to have extended its reach to all kinds of situations in which it is too often used to mask attitudes which limit rather than encourage communication and understanding.
We tend to use the word ‘busy’ to indicate being active and having a lot to do. But the term has lost its neutral descriptive quality and become loaded with implications and judgements about the value of our lives.
The words we use in everyday interactions are under intense scrutiny. In some contexts, we are increasingly aware of how language can be used to hurt, to demean, to belittle, to exclude. We choose words carefully, not wanting to offend through carelessness or ignorance, and not wanting to take offence when none was meant.
One of the most well-meaning but useless pieces of advice that many of us have received and that many of us have given (come on, hands up) is the recommendation to ‘just be yourself’. They’ll love you, we add. Of course you’ll get the job. Of course your date will like you. Of course you’ll get on with the other kids/your prospective in-laws/your new workmates. Just be natural. There’s nothing to worry about, you’re great!
How’s your Confidence Barometer at this very moment?
How many hours have you spent in the past week or month on the activities involved with maintaining relationships and recognising the needs of the people in your life?
The rise of management speak and workplace jargon not only debases language — it also diminishes those who use it.