Two Words Not To Say In Or Out Of The Workplace

‘I’ll try’ There’s nothing wrong with trying to do something, of course there isn’t. It’s good to make an effort, to reach for what is out of our grasp, to experiment, to give something a whirl without certainty of success. That’s all part of the excitement and challenge of living. The virtue of trying is reflected in commonplace sayings such as, ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,’ and encouraging reminders of the importance of perseverance, of keeping going, of taking risks, of learning from failure.

Read more »

How To Talk About Stress At Work

Don’t suffer stress in silence We know that stress causes misery and destroys lives. We know that stress can kill, although we push that one away to the backs of our minds. A report just out from insurer Friends Life shows that stress costs UK companies an incredible £690 million ($1.1 billion) a day in wasted wages. That’s a lot of money, if you take the productivity angle; but it’s also a lot of human unhappiness, if you focus on individuals and their lives. At the core of all the advice about how to improve this situation is the maxim that people suffering from stress should talk about it, and bosses should listen.

Read more »

How Introverts and Shy People Can Make An Impact At Meetings

It’s a gender thing, and it’s a personality thing. At meetings, women speak 75% less of the time than men, and anyone who is shy, or introverted, or reserved, is likely to find it hard to make a contribution, so talented, able, valuable people are perceived to lack clout and influence because their voice isn’t heard. This situation, unfair as it is, is not going to change, but you can change the way you behave at meetings – and you don’t need to change your personality. Why on earth would you even think of doing that? You’re fine. But with a little tweaking of your mental approach, and some judicious use of strategy, your steady star need no longer be hidden by the flashy comets which eclipse less obvious but equally significant bodies.

Read more »

How small talk can help you to get promoted at work

You may be one of the many people who just like to get on with things, and regard small talk as a waste of time. You put your head down and produce what’s required. That’s what you’re expected to do, right? Well, yes. But you might also find you don’t progress in the way you would like. You might find you are overlooked when it comes to promotion and advancement. It could be that you are just not noticed, that you don’t make an impact, that your name is not known. You might think how on earth is talking about television, or sport, or the weather, or the terrible bus service on your route going to help your career? But this kind of light conversation brings you into contact with people. It makes you visible, and creates a positive impression.

Read more »

How to make social conversation

Many of us freeze at the idea of making small talk. The thought of having to converse with people we hardly know, having to find something to say or risk being seen as clumsy and unsociable – well, it’s enough to make you turn down that party invitation, or lurk in the cloakroom until the very beginning of the meeting. It doesn’t have to be this way. A lucky few are naturally good at making small talk, but the rest of us can learn the skills of social conversation. You don’t ever have to be stuck for words again.

Read more »

How TV cops Scott and Bailey give us lessons about dealing with problems at work

Scott and Bailey is a top-notch detective show in the UK on ITV, featuring three strong women characters with complicated personal and professional lives. Step forward, Detective Constable Janet Scott, Detective Constable Rachel Bailey and their boss, Detective Chief Inspector Gill Murray. In the first episode of the new series, good friends Janet and Rachel are interviewed for promotion to sergeant in the first episode of the new series.

Read more »

Drop the juggling act

Some time in the late 1980s, we latched on to the phrase ‘women who juggle their lives’. How we loved the idea that were having it all, family, career, aspirational lifestyle, whatever we wanted, just by keeping all those balls in the air at once. There we were, striding through the workplace in our natty trouser suits, bulky cell phone in one hand, crying baby in the other, desperately trying to keep everything in balance and moving smoothly in the right direction. Three decades on, not much has changed. Smarter phones, yes. Smarter lives? Not so sure.

Read more »

Are you a drain or a radiator? How to deal with the drains in your life

Dividing people into camps is a seductive and entertaining activity. Few of us can resist doing the quiz or taking the test which will show us the group we belong to. Optimist or pessimist? Hawk or dove? Stressed Type A or laid-back Type B? And of course, we don’t cheat. Not us, even though we know where we want to be placed –particularly when it comes to identifying ourselves as drains or radiators. Who wants to be a drain – someone whose presence depresses others, sucks away their psychic energy, and robs them of their joy and vitality? A radiator is quite different. They are people who exude warmth and life, who enlivens and invigorates those lucky enough to benefit from their glow. Don’t we all want to be radiators?

Read more »

How to get out of a job rut

How do you know if you’re in a job rut? It’s when nothing about what you do interests or excites you. You can do what’s required to a more-or-less OK standard, and sometimes you feel you could do it with your eyes shut. Actually, sometimes your eyes really are shut. This feeling can hit at any time. It can creep up on you without you realising what is happening. If you do recognise what is happening, and don’t like it, you have the option to make some changes.

Read more »

Manners maketh everyone

Manners maketh man, said an esteemed philosopher, speaking at a time when everyone would have taken the word ‘man’ to encompass all human beings. No, it was not the 1950s, but the 14th Century when William of Wykeham made this statement. And he was not referring to the niceties of table manners or how you introduce a bishop (he was one) to a baron, but about the way we behave towards each other. People are defined, he suggested, by their relationships with their fellow human beings. True manners are seen in thoughtful and generous behaviour, in consideration and kindness.

Read more »

Two Steps To Confidence

Confidence is the key to success in so many areas of our lives. Being confident enables us to pursue our goals and ambitions and to communicate our thoughts and needs. The confident person copes with setbacks, learns from mistakes, seizes opportunities, handles difficult situations. That’s the kind of confidence which comes from a mixture of self-knowledge and self-assurance, and having the courage and determination to take action. But even those who seem to have a natural abundance of this enviable quality are not confident all the time. Everyone has their moments or periods of anxiety and self-doubt.

Read more »