It’s good to have goals for our lives and careers. Having targets to aim for gives us purpose and direction.
Well-formed, attainable goals enable us to realize our dreams and ambitions. They provide a marker for our success — or failure.
Aah yes, the f word. There’s nothing like not achieving a goal to make you feel like one of life’s losers.
Power comes in different forms. We tend to automatically associate it with position and job title but we have all known bosses and team leaders who just don’t cut it and we have all known less elevated work colleagues who carry a lot of clout.
Relying on only one source of influence is risky — if it goes, you have nothing to fall back on. A better idea is to identify a number of areas in which you can acquire and develop the attributes which are associated with power.
Identifying our feelings and naming them as accurately as we can is a way of gaining self-knowledge and a means of controlling and managing our emotional life.
Being able to understand and express feelings is one of the markers of emotional intelligence, a quality that is becoming in increasing demand in the workplace. But there can be a mismatch between our feelings and how we express them. Here’s how to build up your emotional literacy.
You don’t know what went wrong. You were talking to a friend or someone in your family or an acquaintance or someone at work, and you thought you were listening to what they were saying and making appropriate responses.
Well, you were listening. You could repeat what they were saying word for word, practically. And you showed you were listening by saying things that were relevant and to the point. But it just didn’t gel. The conversation died out, although you felt there was much more to be explored. It just seemed as if they didn’t want to explore the topic any further with you. What happened and what can you do about it?
The South Downs National Park Authority is running a campaign to encourage people walking, sauntering, running, picnicking or generally enjoying this lovely area of the countryside in the South of England to treat each other courteously and they suggest that we say hello when we pass by someone, say thank you when someone makes way for us or opens a gate or whatever, that we say excuse me when we…well, you get the picture.
Apparently, this is part of a general campaign to encourage people to explore the landscapes and to encourage friendly and responsible behaviour. Nothing wrong with that. It’s just a shame that we need reminders to be civilised.
The first problem with eye contact is that we all know that it is A Good Thing which we should all practise, but we don’t know how to do it without looking and feeling awkward and just a bit creepy.
The second problem is that we all know a little bit about how eye contact works, just enough to nudge each other and say things like, ‘Did you notice, no eye contact? Shifty or what!’ ‘Never trust anyone who looks you straight in the eye. I read that somewhere.’
And so we make instant judgements without checking the accuracy of our perceptions, while hoping that our own mismanaged signals will be correctly interpreted.
We all know how to walk, right? It’s easy. You just put one foot in front of the other and you get to where you’re going. Well, yes, up to a point. But when you enter a room or a building, when you walk around your place of work, people are forming an impression of you just by observing the way you move. If you want to make a positive professional impact, walk like a winner.