Six Situations When A Pause is Powerful

Mary Hartley The Power of PauseDoing things quickly can make us feel productive and in control.

We admire the aura of the authority and confidence shown by making an instant decision, the efficiency shown by whipping through messages and firing off replies, the mental sharpness shown by coming up with an instant response.

However, an immediate reaction is not always the best one. It doesn’t sound quite so finger-snappingly on the ball, but pausing before you respond may be the smartest thing to do. It’s the difference between reacting and responding.

Read more »

A Different Way To Set Goals

It’s good to have goals for our lives and careers. Having targets to aim for gives us purpose and direction.

Well-formed, attainable goals enable us to realize our dreams and ambitions. They provide a marker for our success — or failure.

Aah yes, the f word. There’s nothing like not achieving a goal to make you feel like one of life’s losers.

Read more »

How To Use Your Personal Power At Work

power1Power comes in different forms. We tend to automatically associate it with position and job title but we have all known bosses and team leaders who just don’t cut it and we have all known less elevated work colleagues who carry a lot of clout.

Relying on only one source of influence is risky — if it goes, you have nothing to fall back on. A better idea is to identify a number of areas in which you can acquire and develop the attributes which are associated with power.

Read more »

How Emotional Literacy Increases Your Personal and Professional Power

thatsall1Identifying our feelings and naming them as accurately as we can is a way of gaining self-knowledge and a means of controlling and managing our emotional life.

Being able to understand and express feelings is one of the markers of emotional intelligence, a quality that is becoming in increasing demand in the workplace. But there can be a mismatch between our feelings and how we express them. Here’s how to build up your emotional literacy.

Read more »

How Likeable People Find The Right Tone

conversation1You don’t know what went wrong. You were talking to a friend or someone in your family or an acquaintance or someone at work, and you thought you were listening to what they were saying and making appropriate responses.

Well, you were listening. You could repeat what they were saying word for word, practically. And you showed you were listening by saying things that were relevant and to the point. But it just didn’t gel. The conversation died out, although you felt there was much more to be explored. It just seemed as if they didn’t want to explore the topic any further with you. What happened and what can you do about it?

Read more »

The Power of Saying Hello

sharepath1The South Downs National Park Authority is running a campaign to encourage people walking, sauntering, running, picnicking or generally enjoying this lovely area of the countryside in the South of England to treat each other courteously and they suggest that we say hello when we pass by someone, say thank you when someone makes way for us or opens a gate or whatever, that we say excuse me when we…well, you get the picture.

Apparently, this is part of a general campaign to encourage people to explore the landscapes and to encourage friendly and responsible behaviour. Nothing wrong with that. It’s just a shame that we need reminders to be civilised.

Read more »

How To Manage Eye Contact

Beautiful-EyeThe first problem with eye contact is that we all know that it is A Good Thing which we should all practise, but we don’t know how to do it without looking and feeling awkward and just a bit creepy.

The second problem is that we all know a little bit about how eye contact works, just enough to nudge each other and say things like, ‘Did you notice, no eye contact? Shifty or what!’ ‘Never trust anyone who looks you straight in the eye. I read that somewhere.’

And so we make instant judgements without checking the accuracy of our perceptions, while hoping that our own mismanaged signals will be correctly interpreted.

Read more »

Walk Like A Winner — Walking With Confidence And Authority

balance2We all know how to walk, right? It’s easy. You just put one foot in front of the other and you get to where you’re going. Well, yes, up to a point. But when you enter a room or a building, when you walk around your place of work, people are forming an impression of you just by observing the way you move. If you want to make a positive professional impact, walk like a winner.

Read more »

How To Speak With Authority And Impact

speech1The way you speak is central to the impact you make. You can develop a way of speaking which adds to your professional presence and which places you in the category of people who make an impact and should be taken seriously.

Here are five steps to using your voice to create a positive impression.

Read more »

How Being Nice Harms You

nice1We all know that ‘nice’ is an overworked word, one we use when we are unable to or can’t be bothered to come up with something more precise.

But we need to watch out if ‘nice’ is often applied to us by ourselves or other people.

Read more »

How to Be a Better Friend — Accepting Feelings

femalefriends2Of course you accept your mate’s feelings, you may think, as you recall all the hours you spend listening to their emotional traumas about their significant other, or lack thereof, or their mother or their boss or their kids or their diet…

You do what all good friends do. You listen. But really good friends listen without imposing their own agenda.

Read more »

Thumbs down to ‘Awkward Turtle’— How to handle awkward situations in better ways

thumbs1‘Awkward Turtle’ is one of those urban slang expressions with which only the tragically unhip (you too?) are unfamiliar. It refers to a movement in which you place one hand over the other and rotate your thumbs, presumably imitating a turtle trying to get out of an awkward position.

It can be used in a group situation, when someone puts their foot in it, says the wrong thing, doesn’t realise something significant about a group member, and so on.

Read more »