Personal Development Author
Easter doesn't get much of a look-in when it comes to making resolutions. January is, of course, the top time for vowing to put ourselves through agony as we determine to do the things we believe we should, and beat ourselves up when we have broken every resolution by Burns Night.
Well, who would have thought that full stops and exclamation marks would ever play a significant part in our relationships?
'Sorry for your loss'. In recent times, this sad phrase has resonated with many, far too many, of us. The expression encompasses what is so hard to express, our sympathy, our awareness of the devastation of death, our inadequacy in the face of grief and loss.
The habit of comparing ourselves unfavourably with other people damages our self-esteem and wellbeing even during the best of times. When we experience more challenging times, it can take very little to make ourselves and our lives feel really rubbish. It wasn’t quite so bad in the olden days when there was only limited exposure to the lives of others, seemingly so much more successful and interesting than our own. At the present time it is hard to escape the bombardment of words and pictures and images which suggest that all the people we know (and some we don’t) are having a brighter, better existence than us.
Values are the ideas that define the way we view the world. They are the abstract notions on which we base our judgements of what is important in life. Our values shape our choices and decisions. The way we behave, how we live and work, our relationships with ourselves and with other people, are guided by these fundamental concepts.
At particular periods in all our lives, it isn’t possible to have face-to-face contact with the people who matter to us. It doesn’t matter that much these days, we say blithely, because of all the possibilities for voice and video calls. We can still see each other. We can still talk to each other. In fact, we can see and talk to more people in more ways than we ever could IRL. But an old-school phone call is just the thing for a proper conversation or discussion, the kind that leaves you feeling pleased and satisfied that you have had a meaningful, enjoyable, worthwhile exchange with someone close to you. If using the phone is a habit you have got out of, or is something that you shy away from, why not give it a try.
You might wonder what would be the point of writing a letter during this period of forced separation and constrained activity. After all, we’ve got the technology which enables us to see and talk to each other, even though we are miles apart. When you can actually get a large group of friends or a whole family together on a screen, as well as having intimate one-to-ones, why bother with anything else?
The contours of our lives have changed. For now, we don't have the regular rhythms and rituals which give shape to our days. Without the activities which normally punctuate our waking hours, we are faced with a shapeless mass of time which we need to mould into a recognisable and manageable form.
It's not often that tools for improving productivity and effectiveness in the workplace can be happily transferred to our personal lives, but with a little bit of tweaking, the technique called the Five Whys may provide a way of helping us deal with personal pressure and demands.
Our language is vibrant and flexible, constantly changing as it reflects the changing nature of the world it describes. Communication has always been enriched by varieties of slang, for example, and by the emergence of new words and phrases that sometimes refer to a new reality, and at other times present a new way of expressing something which is already established. While relishing the colour and vividness of newly-coined expressions, it’s good to be aware of what they actually refer to. If we buy into the neat-sounding phrase or the cool neologism and accept it at face value, we may be accepting practices which we don’t whole-heartedly endorse and which could stand a little more scrutiny.
For years and years, the practice of making fun of fat or thin people has been a staple of cartoons, picture postcards, film and television comedies, books and stories. It’s what we do, mock and marginalise our fellow humans who don’t conform to some manufactured ideal of physical appearance. The shame is on us, not on our bodies.
The phrase ‘the generation gap’ came into common usage in the 1960s. It referred to the lack of understanding between the older generation, born earlier in the century, and the new tribe of teenagers and young people which emerged after World War Two. Depending on your viewpoint, the younger generation changed a moribund society into one which was better, brighter and freer, or it plunged the country into the depths of depravity, permissiveness and uncouth behaviour.