In our personal and professional interactions, the impact of what we are saying and the message we want to give can be weakened by the use of particular words. The words we’re talking about are ‘only’ and ‘just’. Not always, you understand, and not in every context. Phrases such as ‘it’s only a scratch’ and ‘it’s just a blip’ and ‘could you just pop on the scales’ are familiar ways of giving reassurance and minimizing anxiety (not sure if it works in the last situation).
Which Pride and Prejudice type are you?
In my new book, The Smart Girl’s Guide To Getting What You Want, I look at the Bulldozer, the Pushover, the Snake and the Star. Let’s see how those types are portrayed in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice and you can assess which type you are.
How to find the right words when you need them
I am delighted that people are finding my new book, The Smart Girl’s Guide To Getting What You Want, helpful and are appreciating its practical tips and advice. Here are some readers’ comments: ‘A must-read guide for anyone interested in gaining the confidence to speak up without fear’ ‘Fun, educational and inspirational’ ‘In some ways, I think this book has changed my life’ It’s great to hear it confirmed that we can acquire the confidence and knowhow to communicate more effectively in every area of our life. Little things can help enormously. Sometimes, having the knowledge of what to say gives us the power to say it.
Don’t fall prey to the pressure of being a parent in exam season
If it takes a village to raise a child, how many villages does it take to support a child through the exam period? You couldn’t put a number on it, could you? There is no shortage of advice for anxious parents. Teachers, schools, tutors, advisers, countless media sources, friends, families, that nice woman up the road whose kids went to the same school as yours are all ready with suggestions about the best way to deal with exam stress and pressure. You can find out what to do and what not to do, what to say and what not to say, how to help your young person to revise, the best foodstuffs to encourage concentration. All this advice is helpful but sometimes you can feel as if you are the one taking exams, not just the academic tests which are looming, but also the far more difficult examination of how well you fulfil your role as a supportive parent. You are not on trial.
What Shakespeare’s women teach us about succeeding in the workplace
The women in Shakespeare’s plays are a mixed bunch. They display a range of attributes, some admirable and some less so. They are playful, flirtatious, fearful, submissive, outspoken, brave, self-deluded, gossipy, intelligent, lovesick, self-righteous, charming, shy, clever, quick-witted, slow, slutty, sharp-tongued, loyal. Ooh, look, just like women in real life.
How Cordelia shows us how to value words
William Shakespeare was born 450 years ago today (April 23, 1564) and his plays and poetry still grip us. He often got his plays going with a bang, setting the scene dramatically and establishing the main themes of the play. Picture the beginning of King Lear. Lear has decided to split his kingdom between his three daughters. Aware of the multiple dramatic opportunites afforded by issues concerning wills and inheritances, we settle down for a juicy family row, a bit of inter-sibling mudslinging, perhaps, or the airing of a few daddy issues.
Why ‘but’ is one word to drop
‘But’ is a tough little word that punches way above its weight. We use it to introduce a statement or question which contrasts with what precedes it. So when you say ‘but’, you are making it clear that what you are about to say in some way lessens or negates or modifies what has gone before. Well, there’s nothing wrong with that, is there? That’s what conversations are built on, the exchange and development of different views. However, the effect of ‘but’ in certain types of conversation can have the effect of distorting the meaning.
The first step in learning how to say no
Why do we find it tough to say no? “I’m just a girl who can’t say no” sings a character in the musical Oklahoma! Well, she learns to do so – and her reward is that she gets to marry the man she loves. OK, we won’t go there. But not being able to refuse requests and agreeing to everything because we feel we can’t say no creates stress and misery for ourselves and for the others in our personal and professional lives. Why do we find it so difficult to say this little word? The difficulty stems from various kinds of fear and anxiety.
How speaking up across the ages inspired my new book
It’s publication day for the ebook version of The Smart Girl’s Guide To Getting What You Want! And next month, on April 27th, the lovely printed book will hit the shelves. I was thrilled to see that the bible of the US publishing business Publishers Weekly reviewed my book and called it an ’empowering tome’. My aim in writing the book was to give girls and women, sisters in the struggle to make our voices heard and to behave assertively with grace, wit and style, some practical suggestions and ideas about how to speak and act in challenging situations – and how to have fun along the way.
What films teach us about workplace relationships: The Devil Wears Prada
The Devil Wears Prada is an entertaining film which tells the story of the boss-from-hell and her young assistant. Set in the high-octane, self-reverential world of fashion, it follows a comforting and familiar trajectory of antagonism, acceptance and re-assessment, in which eventually the values of kindness and humanity prevail over the evil forces of ruthless ambition and over-estimating the importance of Jimmy Choos in the grand scheme of things. But the film does have some lessons for us all in considering relationships in the workplace.
My Smart Girl’s Guide gets an ’empowering’ review from Publishers Weekly
My new book, The Smart Girl’s Guide to Getting What You Want, has received a great review from Publishers Weekly, the bible of the American publishing and bookselling business, which calls the book an “empowering tome”. You can read the full review at Publishers Weekly and the book can be pre-ordered in print or ebook formats at Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. The Smart Girl’s Guide to Getting What You Want explains how to be assertive with wit, style and grace and will be published in April in the US and UK by Osprey Publishing and Watkins Publishing.
What your office jargon says about you
Workspeak has taken on a life of its own, often devoid of sense and clarity. Going forward with our blue sky thinking, actioning and incentivising as we head for close of play on our shared journey, we offend in two major respects. In the first place, we show linguistic insensitivity. We cobble together incongruent images, create ugly hybrids, use nouns and adjectives with cavalier disregard for their grammatical function. The English language is continually evolving. It is robust and flexible and can take a hammering but the use of jargon ignores the wealth of possibilities in its vast vocabulary and ducks the challenge of finding clear and forceful expressions and developing images with the power to illuminate and to delight.